Danny Doom’s Booze Cabinet

New hero: Buzz Bissinger. Okay, not a hero–I barely know anything about him but he wrote “Friday Night Lights,” the book, not the tv show. Whatever. Apparently Tony LaRussa and Al Pujols went to Beck’s thing this weekend? Not cool! So Buzz has been letting it rip on his twitter thingee:

I wrote FNL not God. And every time there is a sale I don’t point to the heavens. I point to my pocketbook. Called honesty, Albert.

News flash to Albert: God doesn’t care about your home runs or your race for the Triple Crown. He has a lot on the plate right now.

Pro baseball players the least sophisticated of all pro athletes. More to right than Mussolini. Think a yarmulke is rain gear for midgets.

I will take on any right winger any day of the week. Bunch of smug self-satisfied bullies who don’t believe a fucking word they say.

Beck is an Elmer Gantry snake oil former drunk and addict con man who doesn’t believe a single fucking word of what he says. All for $$$

It goes on and on. I love this guy/nutball.

Look at the positives: football season is nearly upon us.

In other positive news, Prop 8 was declared unconstitutional despite the president’s undeclared support, Kagan the alleged liberal was confirmed, and that mosque is going to be built right on top of the rubble of the World Trade Center so that the towers cannot be rebuilt. Or, that’s what they told me at the Tea Party.

What else could we do? A weekend in Denver and two Cubs games that defined their entire history, plus a whirlwind of biking, music and science.

Beautiful Coors Field, home of the Rockies, where 17 years of history has been piling up (actually 15 at Coors, 2 at Mile High). Included in that history is, of course, a World Series appearance in 2007 (they lost).

And now…more history. Yes, we were there. What a debacle, almost comical. Shattered records and pure incompetence. But Saturday’s game was worse, if you can imagine. When Derrek Lee tied the game up with a dinger in the 8th we thought redemption was at hand but of course it wasn’t as the Rockies won it with a walk-off homer in the 9th, sending half the stadium into a frenzy (the place was filled with Cubs fans). We were in right field for this game and full of hope when that ball sailed right over our heads.

So here we have a microcosm of  Cubdom: one utter shellacking and another heartbreaking soul-crusher. They followed it up with another near-miss Sunday, but we were long gone by then. As a nice bookend to it all, last night the Cubs suffered an 18-1 dismantling at home against the Brewers. Ah, football, save me now.

The rest of the weekend looked like this… The moon guided us to the Ghetto Shack food stand, where the cheeseburgers calmed our boozy stomachs.

Downtown Denver in all its glory.

And what’s a weekend of drinking and revelry without some science? Here we have two cans of Old Style, one Krausened and one not. Naturally, we conducted a taste test and concluded that 3 out of 4 participants prefer their Old Style Krausened. Um, like we didn’t know that.

Here’s old Reverend Deadeye doing his thing. I can’t remember the name of this bar…Paris-something? Anyway, the Rev belted out his sermons with conviction and healed our wounds. It all happened so fast, we were in and out in a blur, thanks again, D-town, for a good time as always.

Let us drink a big giant toast to Lord Stanley’s Cup! And Patrick Kane and Jonathon Toews! Your 2010 Champion Chicago Blackhawks!

Let’s not mince words, let’s not beat around the boooosh, it’s Miller Time, it’s the Lord’s Stanley Cup for the taking, holy shit, could tonight be the night? Let’s do this! Blackhawks! Owooooooooooooooo!

Yes, I know, it’s a terrible cellphone picture. But it’s all I have right now. Me, a Tecate and my Blackhawks t-shirt. These Hawks are up and down, they better get it together for the next series!

Just realized the last two booze pix I posted were a Corona and a margarita. In the fridge we’ve got Tecate and Pacifico. My new fave team in the NBA are Los Suns de Phoenix. Cheech and Chong still make me laugh. Today I will do what’s right and apply for dual citizenship. I am a Mexican-American!

No, Harry never drank Corona, he was a Bud man, but it seemed like the perfect starter for the day. Soon I switched to Old Style and Bud but this was a nice relaxing opener. The Cubs, my reluctant team of all teams, cranked out a ton of homers and crushed the D-bags 11-5. Take that, Arizona!

Longtime dedicated readers of this Booze Cabinet may have noticed the lack of coverage or excitement regarding the now-week-old baseball season, and in particular, our Chicago Cubs. Well, what can I say? It’s still hockey season over here. The playoffs are just about to start and although the Hawks missed the top spot by one point, they are still in good shape for a run at the Cup.

But really, the Cubs. Hope springs eternal, they say, but I’m not feeling it. Yes, Milton Bradley is gone and that’s all good, but I am in the Zambrano-is-a-nutjob camp, and a new haircut and weight loss is not going to change that. Plus, the bullpen appears to completely suck, just like last year. And Soriano is still out there in left field misjudging balls. Ugh.

Today is opening day at Wrigley and there are changes afoot, but I am keeping one eye shut right now. Yeah, I may turn it on and see what happens but it’s not the same for me, not now, not yet. Bring home the Cup!

Great comment from “Addiction Guy” in my spam folder: “This is a worth while article, thanks for sharing. Alcoholism is not an issue that is going away anytime in the near future.” Another one from Casey Valderrama (not that 70′s guy?): “I’ve really got to get my medication sorted out…”

I went to Diversey Rock n’ Bowl last week and found that my wrist hurt from playing Wii bowling. Also, I’m a lot better at Wii than in real life. Oh well, this is a $6 mug of Amstel Light. Why? I don’t know why.

An exciting night, and here we see President Obama hoisting the winning team’s helmet in a fit of exultation. Congrats to the Saints!  And now the gnome shall wear the helmet in honor of the Super Bowl champs. What a display.

Let’s keep it real. I don’t really care who wins the Super Bowl. I want the Saints to win but I believe the Colts will win. But whatevs. The true highlight for me will be halftime, when The Who, as they currently exist, take the field for one of those made-for-t.v. medleys that will no doubt leave me unsatisfied. But still. I’m excited for it. You’ve got to appreciate these guys while they’re still here.

Alright, I’ve got the gals all strapped up and ready to go! Bring it on, baby, bring it on!

This is big. I think I finally found something that will please both NFL puritans and gnome-lovers…who’s on board with this one? Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

Two more lame games yesterday. Let’s hope for some action today! Come on!

UPDATE:

More lameness. Boo!