Danny Doom’s Booze Cabinet

Who did I call “the gift that keeps on re-gifting itself?” I can’t remember. But anyway, it’s now Sarah Palin. She just keeps on talkin’ and explainin’, and by talkin’ and explainin’ she really gives voters a chance to hear her talk and explain things that need to be…explained. And gosh, she’s cute as a button!

Yesterday: “It’s the fault of one man: George W. Bush.” – Steve Chapman, Chicago Tribune.

Today: “I do not like you, John McCain.” – Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times.

What. Is. This?!? Very strange. I got home one night last week and parked the car in the garage. Out in the alley across from me was this weird box with wires sitting just as you see it. This is the second time a mystery box like this has been sitting out here in the alley. What is it? It appeared to be very well-put together, artistic, but also like a bomb or something. The next morning it was gone. I have no idea what it is all about. Please offer any ideas you may have in the comments, because I am downright hornswaggled.

I’m glad I’m not a McCain supporter or a White Sox fan right about now. Mostly, though, I’m glad I’m not a McCain supporter right about now.

McCain’s dismissal of Obama brought back memories of how advocates of the war arrogantly dismissed those who insisted (rightly, as it turned out) that the conflict would be far more difficult and costly than its architects suggested.

Yes, what we need now is another hothead with shitty judgment who doesn’t listen to anybody else.

UPDATE:

A headline that speaks volumes: “McCain Takes Credit For Bill Before It Loses”

The rush to claim he had engineered a victory now looks like a strategic blunder that will prolong the McCain’s campaign’s difficulty in finding a winning message on the economy.

Good thing he suspended his campaign! But wait–how do we know when he un-suspends it? Oh, he did? Huh.

Pictures from the road. It was too early for fall colors but still pretty. Below is one of my deer friends. They would show up every day at the same time, right about 5pm, three or four of them. I was shooting a movie of one of them when this guy here crept up from behind me and I turned around to see him just standing there staring at me. We had a brief chat and then he was off again.

Here’s the monster mosquito that terrorized me all weekend. This guy was huge! I killed all of his underlings but I couldn’t bring myself to squash him. After taking this picture I opened the door and shooed him out. Later I saw him bouncing against the window trying to get back in and drain my blood. A true monster.

We have an endorsement for Barack Obama, and it’s a biggie! This newspaper last endorsed a Democrat in 1936 (FDR). Is it the Chicago Tribune? No! It’s The Record, of Stockton, California! The ball’s in your court, Chicago Tribune. Time for a change, yes?

A South Carolina mayor named Danny Funderburk forwarded a chain email suggesting Barack Obama is the antichrist because he was “just curious” if it was true. I admire his inquisitiveness. Good question, Mr. Mayor, but no, Obama is actually NOT the antichrist–he’s your Worst Fucking Nightmare! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!! Oh, I’m just cracking myself up here… (go to bed!)

Ah, so much I’ve missed. Well, I didn’t miss it so much as I’ve failed to comment on it.** I’ve been relatively offline since Thursday, up in Wisconsin on a spiritual retreat. Just kidding. What’s spiritual for me involves living off the land, pioneer-style, rubbing sticks together, all that stuff. Still kidding. Okay, I had a grill, lighter fluid, meats and beer. Some tequila too. I did not have hot water though, which was a surprise, so it’s been…what day is it? Sunday? Almost four full days without a shower. Luckily, I was alone the entire time. The animals flocked to me (seriously, pictures to come!).

Actually, I decided to clean myself in the lake on Saturday because it was just so nice out, so I went down to the beach (Lake Geneva) and dipped my dirty body in. Then I got out, dried off and went back in again. Good as new, clean as can be. It’s amazing how quickly I can revert to a primitive lifestyle when conditions call for it. I ate terribly except for my dinners, which involved Italian sausages, hamburgers, and chicken; also, red peppers, onions, and Pillsbury crescent rolls. The rest of the time it was white powdered donuts, gummy bears, and beef sticks. I slept very odd hours, odder than usual, and killed many mosquitoes and flies.

I saw the debate, and that was fine. A little boring, but Obama took care of business. The Katie Couric interview was…painful. I actually felt sorry for this woman. But she has no business running anything but–really, anything at all. And to prove that you really can’t make this shit up, the SNL skit actually used lines from the interview verbatim. It was funnier the first time, but still, man! That is embarrassing.

Oh, and that Letterman thing. Nice job by Dave, keeping the screws on McCain. You know he didn’t do a damn thing. He made a whole big fuss about suspending his campaign and not debating and then went to Washington…eventually…and did what exactly? Like this wasn’t some kind of gimmick–much like the entire campaign. I mean, it’s still not a done deal, even if it might be by tomorrow, but he didn’t even stop campaigning, and he showed up for the debate. So, why the drama? Oh yeah, the poll numbers. The Couric interview. The general lack of substance. And the Couric interview. Gotta make sure no one pays attention to that!

McCain doesn’t realize it, but on the Internet, nothing goes away until we say it does! You have seen it by now, yes? Jesus, it’s a train wreck.

* Title taken from my favorite Robyn Hitchcock album, Eye, and the song, yes, it is “Clean Steve.”

** Bob Porter: Looks like you’ve been missing a lot of work lately.
Peter Gibbons: I wouldn’t say I’ve been *missing* it, Bob.

- Office Space

My first reaction when I heard that McCain was suspending his campaign was “What? Huh? Ha ha ha! What? Um… Huh? Ha ha ha!” And then he wanted cancel the debate? “What? Huh? Ha ha ha! What? Um… Huh? Ha ha ha!”

I can’t believe that anyone would take this seriously. By “this” I mean the campaign of brave John McCain and cute-as-a-button Sarah Palin.

The great David Letterman, last night. This is must-see video. Then again, so is this: contest winner Sarah Palin with Katie Couric. Unbelievable.

First, I watched Bill Clinton on Dave last night and I thought he was pretty good. Wait, be honest. I watched it and thought “Damn, he’s good.” He talked over Dave’s (and my) head about the financial crisis and he was just…well, there’s no one better. He’s smart. He can talk, and talk, and talk, about this stuff for a lot longer than the short time allotted, that much is apparent. I would, indeed, vote for him again in a second, if it was at all possible. He is light years ahead of every other politician, except for, maybe, Barack Obama; in that case he is only about eight or nine years ahead. With good reason.

Second, yes, he struggled to even mention Obama’s name while championing Hillary and her many ideas numerous times. It was obvious. And so when Chris Rock came out after him and sat down with Dave, he was flat-out hilarious and dead-on. Watch that vid, it’s great. So, what can you do? Clinton is a biased observer. He should get over it and come out strongly for Obama, and I suspect that he will eventually. But Chris Rock handed it to him nicely. Hilarious Palin jokes.

Speaking of the Vice-Presidential Gimmick, here’s The Twelve Lies of Sarah Palin. Twelve basic, proven lies that we know for sure she has told (there’s still so much more to learn about her!). It’s kind of like Christmas, without all the joy.

UPDATE:

Just one further thought: why is it that Dave Letterman, and to a lesser extent the women of The View, have presided over the most interesting, informative, and substantive interviews of this election season? It’s not that hard to ask questions of relevance now, is it?

UPDATE II:

That other great interviewer, Jon Stewart, had Bill Clinton on last night (I haven’t forgotten about Charlie Rose, but he hasn’t had these people on lately!). You be the judge. Once again, I could listen to these guys talk all night. You will never hear any Bush, or Cheney, or Dole or any other Republican sit and speak like this. By that I mean, intelligently, or with humor, or with anything resembling coherency. That’s because the real elitists sit in that party and have no idea how to have this conversation.

Bill Maher Fest: here’s a couple of great clips from this week’s Real Time. I love this show and I’ve never even really seen it in its entirety (no cable). New Rules (Free Levi!) and Sarah Palin–Bush in Drag/John McCain–Star Fucker. With Naomi Klein, Andrew Sullivan, and some wanker from the Black-Eyed Peas (I really dislike that band).

While we’re at it, check this clip of the Sunday Funnies (from Stephanopolous). The last one, from The Daily Show, is just…perfect. “Did she win a contest?!?”

Wow. So the website called Pop Songs 07-08, which has been interpreting and analyzing R.E.M. songs for the past year or so, has finally done them all. But it’s not over! Now Michael Stipe himself is answering questions from readers, and lots of them. There’s so much here and I haven’t read it all yet but it is fascinating to me, the R.E.M. fan. Maybe you too. In particular this lyric to “Driver 8″:

he piloted this song in a plane like that one,
she is selling faith on the ‘go tell’ crusade

I have been playing that song for years, ever since I could play guitar, and I must say that I always sang it exactly as he says it is. Which is probably not the case for many R.E.M. songs, as they were so inscrutable that the lyrics just had to be guessed at or made up.

I may add to this as I read through it.

UPDATE:

Not enough about older songs, in my opinion, but I found this interesting, about a song that I have never heard (I’ll assume it’s from Reveal or Around the Sun):

Chorus and the Ring is my elegy to William Burroughs and Kurt Cobain, and basically follows a conversation I had with William one afternoon in his backyard about Kurt [I was presented to William at his home in ‘95 by Kim Gordon and Thurston Moore]. The 2nd verse is among my most favorite lyrics that I’ve ever written, topic being instinct, and feels like the man who sold the world to me. But I’m complementing myself there. William, to be clear, was truly shocked that such a smart, beautiful and sensitive man as Kurt could take his own life. Shocked. Not exactly the WSB that I expected.

I mean, this is like a convention of some of my favorite peoples in the world (and Otherworld), in this paragraph.

On Friday I had only heard that Eddie Vedder song once on the radio, but now it’s everywhere and I can’t get it out of my head! It’s not a bad song, better than that cheeseball “Go, Cubs, Go!” song, but really, we’ve got to restrain ourselves a bit! I do thank those who sent it to me–before it exploded after the Cubs won on Saturday–but I think I’ll wait til they actually go all the way before I voluntarily play it.

Yes, they did it! It was a good celebration but a subdued one, the kind that says “alright, nice job, but we’ve only just begun.” I did not pour any beer on my head, I only drank it. Save the pouring on the head for pennants and World Series wins. It would be wrong to be wasteful at this point. Act like you’ve been there before–it’s expected! Alright team, that’s my pep talk for today.